I can't believe I'm finally writing this story.
It's been quite the journey and there are so many thoughts and emotions along the way.
About a year ago, Josh and I decided we were ready to try for another baby.
And after having two children, we were pretty hopeful that that process would be smooth.
So we decided to just 'see what happens'. Which for us meant proceeding as normal and just hoping for a surprise one month.
But the surprise never came.
So then we started to reeeeeally try. You know, the tracking and charting, the whole nine.
And the surprise still didn't come.
And I started to lose heart after almost 9 months and wondered if it just wasn't part of God's plan for us to have a third baby. I finally spilled all my emotions and fears I'd been tucking away on my dearest friends here and they prayed the sweetest words of hope over me while tears ran down my face.
Another month went by but their prayers had filled me with renewed hope that God had a special plan for us.
And true to God's nature, just another month later, he gave us the sweetest gift on our 10th anniversary.
The very day of our anniversary I woke up with so much gratitude in my heart for our entire journey and just had a nudge to take a pregnancy test. I wept tears of joy as I saw the two lines appear.
I just knew this was a special gift from God.
I didn't tell Josh right away but decided to write a card and give it to him at dinner that night for our anniversary. There in the corner table of our favorite restaurant, I handed him an anniversary card.
As he read it, I saw his eyes fill with tears.
"Are you serious?"
We cried and rejoiced at that corner table and as the waitress awkwardly approached us again, Josh said, "I'm gonna be a Dad again!"
His excitement from the very beginning has been so good for me.
(Here we are the night of our 10 year anniversary in front of the restaurant)
You see, as much as I wanted excitement to be my overwhelming emotion, it wasn't.
My past experience has taught me to be cautious and guarded. We lost our first baby.
And with the both of the boys' pregnancies, I developed a hemorrhage that put me at risk for miscarriage. Both times. So as excited as I was for this gift, I was equally scared of losing it.
Because of my history, I got to see our sweet baby at just 6 weeks pregnant.
Then again at 8 weeks looking for any signs of that reoccurring hemorrhage.
We brought the boys to this appointment and it was so special for them to see the baby.
But the morning sickness never came and my fears told me that was a bad sign because I was SO sick with both of my boys.
No nausea, no aversions, no extreme fatigue.
I walked on egg shells every week.
I got to see the baby again at 11 weeks, arms and legs and a strong heartbeat. Each time it softened my fears a little.
And I let my heart love a little harder.
The entire thing is a gift. From finding out on our anniversary. To not having one second of morning sickness. To having energy to keep up with my boys.
I know it's a sweet gift from God but I've never had a harder time accepting a gift.
I still feel anxious some days but part of this journey has been learning to trust God even when my emotions feel differently.
And it is with great joy, we share with you Baby Goodman #3 coming in January 2019.
Our boys could not be more excited. Grady tells almost every stranger he meets and prays for my belly every night. Griff tells me he wants to name the baby "Sissy".
Josh has been taking the most wonderful care of me despite my lack of sickness.
And we could not be more thankful.
Thank you for sharing in our joy!